Everything comes from something. 

From a probability perspective, nothing that happens comes from a 0% probability of happening. Just because we can’t rub the dirt off ahead of time to see the probability of something happening lying underneath, doesn’t mean there isn’t a number there. Something with >0% probability of happening occurs because of pre-existing conditions allowing for that.

Everything comes from something. Hmm. 

Mess in the morning

So I made a bit of a mess when making my morning smoothie. Stuff kept missing the fricking blender. As I kept missing the blender and cursing myself, I thought to myself about how my lovely partner loves to chides me about how I just never wipe the counter surfaces (the sides) down. She’s right – it’s a blind spot of mine. It’s not that I actively think I’m not going to do that, I just don’t think of it – unless it’s blatantly a horrific mess. In my defense, I’m good at doing the dishes. I’m not entirely hopeless.

Anyway, while cleaning up my smoothie mess, I had the thought that my inability to notice to clean the sides isn’t out of hate of cleaning the sides, or deliberately seeking to piss off my partner, but out of unawareness. The blind spot is unawareness, not noticing it. I’m simply unaware the sides are gagging to be wiped up until the point where even I can’t not see it.  

Out of 

Weirdly, the part of that thought I latched on to was the choice of the words out of. I have no idea where it came from, but it really just fired some feeling of insight in me. Out of is a funny phrase. Two piddly, basic words. One particularly common usage is when something is done out of spite i.e. I don’t clean the kitchen sides out of spite. Pah! Hardly a great endorsement.

But as I thought about it, out of is like an upgraded version of because. Out of strikes me as more lively. Because is dry, boring, but out of strikes me as describing something emerging, something being born. Something emerges out of some pre-existing thing. Everything comes from something.

Using out of 

What’s crazy to me is how with the slightest of tweaks in semantics, lots of things can be uncovered, worlds can be shifted. Word choice and word order is powerful.

Maybe out of can be used more intentionally.

Maybe out of can be a useful aid in uncovering why I do the things I do, help me to understand my motivations intentionally or unintentionally. Maybe I can nurture motivations I actually want and minimise acting on motivations I don’t want.  

Basically, I want to know who I am better. As laid out in The Statement, better understanding, particularly of myself, leads me to being better at doing in accordance with my honest wantings given what Is, which is what I want.

Better understanding comes from questioning in general. Better understanding of myself comes from questioning why I do what I do, why something is the way something is. 

Sometimes though I struggle with answering the question ‘why?’ because…I…I don’t know why! 

Maybe another weapon in my arsenal is to force my answer to begin with out of. 

Let me give an example. I thought about why I’m making the smoothie (with protein powder), and it’s out of the belief I need to ram myself with protein to build muscle, as I’m currently working out quite a lot. Is this belief correct? I don’t know, but I can at least interrogate it if I make it explicit. It’s because of the belief, but it’s also out of the belief, my making of the smoothie emerges from the belief.  

Whoa. Small word change. Irrelevant. Why bother writing this post? 

I’m not saying answers are suddenly going to fall into my lap now because I’ve replaced because with out of – I’ll still need to actively engage with thinking about answering the questions. But I really like this idea of understanding my actions in the context of where they emerge, and out of helps frame that more than because. Also, because because is so drilled into my brain, using out of means I have to more cognitively structure my answer. It requires greater thought to make the thought make sense. Maybe I’m wrong, but maybe I’m right. Simple.

So practical steps? Trying this:

1. Why? Out of _______. 
2. Sit back and actively listen to what your mind has to say. Let yourself be honest with yourself.

Why am I working out?

Out of my desire to look better and feel better, plus I enjoy it in the moment. I love moving my body. I feel better in myself when I’m moving around, not locked into my office seat for hours at a time, or the couch. This is out of my understanding, based on my past experience, and also from external authorities, that if I exercise then I will look better and feel better. 

I could pick a raft of tangents here to delve deeper, but I’ll pick – Why do I desire to look better?

Out of knowing that when I see someone else who obviously works out, I’m like, fuck, they look good. Out of wanting to be desirable to other people – I want people to look at me and think fuck, he looks good. Why not? I’d rather be better looking than worse looking, and exercise is one of the tools in the arsenal for that. They absolutely may not think that, but I’d like for others to have that impression. 

And I could dig deeper, and keep going. Why? Out of _____. 

Why do I feel calm right now?

Out of not having much to do, maybe because it’s a Saturday. 

But sometimes I don’t have much to do though and I don’t feel calm – why now? 

Potentially out of not self-disciplining myself to achieve something? I have a yoga class (new year, new me) at 9.45am, it’s 7.25am right now – there’s no point doing much activity wise before then. 

Why am I working on this post? 

Out of the will to continue having something that is truly mine. Out of the will to give something of myself to the world that aligns to what I actually want to give to the world. Out of wanting to express myself outside the lens of the standard career path I’ve been following. 

So give it a go. Everything comes from something. Let me know if any doors are opened for you.