I realised this week that it has been a week of quite a few significant ‘firsts’. I will list them out, not to brag, but to contextualise.

• Did my first 36 hour fast, scheduled a few months ago to do on a monthly basis. 
• Took psychedelics for the first time, finally actualising a want of mine that had hovered in the back of my mind for a few years. I have been nervous about this previously but I was guided by a friend in a really safe setting. I found this deeply meaningful.
• Started sketching spontaneously in my journal. I consider myself as the lowest of the low when it comes to art, so it’s nothing special, but the act of doing it, for probably the first time since I was in art classes when I was 11, felt pleasurable.

This really isn’t the case for every week of my life, and I’m not sure why this week was an exceptional week, but I did get struck by the thought that these were things I hadn’t done before, and I really enjoyed it, especially as they were somewhat challenging activities. For example, this week coming I don’t foresee myself undertaking quite as many firsts. However, it would be good to have an understanding of when I’m building new experiences into my life. Anyway, I thought up a three step process to try and frame the concept of firsts in my mind. Maybe I do this exercise once a quarter or something.

Step 1: Recognising where I am now

Not every activity can be a ‘first’. For example, I can no longer take psychedelics for the first time, because naturally being a ‘first’ is a one-time thing. 

However, here are two variants of a question for myself when planning / looking at my quarter or week ahead.

What activities have I not done / What activities am I doing for the first time:

• Before / ever
• In 10 years
• In 5 years
• In 1 year
• In 6 months
• In 3 months
• In 1 month
• In 2 weeks
• In 1 week
• In a few days
• In 1 day 

It will be useful assessing all tasks that I do by this categorisation.

For example, ideally I always want to be writing, meditating and exercising for the first time in a few days or in 1 day. I always want to see my family for the first time in 3 months. If I go beyond that, then I need to really think about my scheduling. 

However, how often am I doing things that I haven’t done in a really long time i.e. over a year?, or even ever before? If I’m looking at my quarter ahead, is there much in there really that is new?

Note 1: When trying to build a project through time, e.g. this blog, it might be a little hard to discern what it is I’m including. For example, on the blog, I want to be doing it always for the first time in a few days. But it will continue to evolve. Maybe a useful thing would be including milestones e.g. ‘the first time I reach the 25th post ever’, or ‘the first time I post 10 posts in a month’. 

Note 2: A line needs to be drawn around the level of detail I want to put. For example, if my activity is ‘go to a restaurant’, then I normally do that at least once every two weeks. If my activity is ‘go to restaurant X’, and that is a 6 monthly thing, but then I have restaurant Y,Z,A,B,C as well that I go to on a rotation, then I need to decide whether I put ‘go to a restaurant’ or further detail. I guess a good gauge on what to include would be how much the finer detail means to me. The more I care, the more I should go into finer detail.

Note 3: I was tempted to say that if I don’t have firsts, then recognise that ossification, but I don’t think calling it ossification would be strictly correct at all, because it may be the case that I get a lot of substance and grounding in my life from the repeated activities which within themselves may look diverse e.g. reading, as I may read for an hour a day, but the book may change, my thoughts in relationship to the book may change.  

This would be the first step – recognising where I am now. I recognise when I haven’t done something I want to do in a while. I recognise when I haven’t done any activities that I haven’t done in a long time (i.e. firsts). 

Step 2: Why is this the case?

The second step would be to ask honestly and openly why I haven’t done the activity in a long time. Is it right that the activity should only be done every year e.g. messaging an old friend? Maybe certain activities shouldn’t be done again and should exhibit the ‘right to be forgotten’. I’m a different person now to who I was 5 years ago. My priorities are different. Recognise that. Also, set the expectation. What do I get out of the activities that I’m doing and the activities I’m not doing? Why would I want to be trying something new?

Step 3: How do I incorporate these reflections into my planning?

The third step would be to say okay, if given the first two steps, then how should I incorporate that reflection into my planning moving forward? If I’m planning for the quarter ahead or the week ahead, what does that now look like?

There’s a risk of feeling bad. Man, I haven’t spoken to my grandma (who I love dearly) in over 3 months. You suck. But that’s a call to action if anything. Recognise this. Maybe it’s okay to recognise some things you just need to let go.

For fasting, I plan on doing a 36h fast on a monthly basis. I may incorporate some lower intensity fasting (24h) on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, but don’t want to overcomplicate it. For psychedelics, given the intensity of the experience, I would only want to do it on a much longer cadence, say every 6 months. For this week ahead, I need to plan some activity to do for the first time, otherwise it’s looking very same-old.

Right now, I need to shower and get on with my morning for the first time in a day. 

Let me know your thoughts!