Sometimes I push myself. I’m dissatisfied with everything. I want to be doing something else. I want my situation to be different. I want to feel something different. I’m in a rush. Time is of the essence. I don’t want to be just sitting here. I want to do something! I want to live a big life. Now, now, now!

Also, I want to live a courageous life. I want to be kind. I want to be strong. I want to be the best partner I can be. I want to be the best son I can be. 

All of this. I want, I want, I want! I want to embody all these traits I view as desirable because I think they tie me into my end destination. My end destination is achieved right now in this moment if I’m embodying the traits that will maximise the probability of me feeling a certain way.

However, I think there’s some skill to this. As already talked about, I can only ever be in one place at one time. I’m only ever physically present in one circumstance, in one situation.

It leads me to the thought that maybe right here, there are some things I can do, or some embodiments that make more sense than others.  

I’m sitting on the couch, relaxing. Do I need to embody proactivity? You know, I actually had a pretty busy day. I think proactivity would push me over the edge. I actually think I need to really embody relaxation. 

I’m pouring a glass of water. Do I need to embody courage? Maybe not. Maybe I can just embody presence to really physically feel the pouring of the water.

I’m sitting writing this blog post. Do I need to embody kindness? I mean, I could write a dickish thing, but I would really have to be going out of my way to do that, and so I don’t really think I need to actively focus on embodying kindness. I think it would be better to embody focus and presence. 

Look, different present moments call for different embodiments. I have to accept that. If I don’t I will be eternally dissatisfied. 

Questions for myself:

• Given I am physically right here, what can I actually do?
• Given what I’m doing, how should I best embody? 
• Does this take me to my end destination?