I was journalling last night to try and assess the last couple of months using just my memory, obviously an exercise of fools, but hey, I’m a fool! Instead, I let the mind retrospectively mould what it thought was the key bits. Firstly, the mind bucketed the chronological narrative into different sections with a key theme for each (I guess what I considered most important or ‘consuming’ at the time):

1. Starting new job (3 months) – I think back to this as a hard, barren time; a grind. There were so many things to adjust to and I struggled with it. I did manage to maintain my morning routine though.
2. Exercise (3 months) – I got into my head (from Andrew Huberman, Peter Attia) that I needed to build strength, as well as it being something I wanted to do anyway but always had excuses not to. I was successful in being disciplined in doing 5×5. Therefore I see this time as solid routine, progressing through heavier weights (for me – llight for many other people).
3. Pulled piriformis and ill (1 month) – I put it down to too many squats (2-3 warm-up sets of squats + 5×5, 3 times a week), but whatever it is, I pulled what I think is the piriformis in my left butt. No more squats or lunges or nada because I felt I needed to rest up. I stopped the exercise program but carried on with stretches. I also got ill for 2 weeks or so – nothing serious – but just meant I felt low.
4. Festival (5 days) – Felt right again in time for an amazing festival with my friends. I simply had a great time.
5. Post-festival chaos (1 month) – Couldn’t get out of bed like I normally can. No umph first thing. Started doing more social things in the evenings with friends, tried out new activities, boozy weekends away with friends. Really, falling out of good habits (meditation, eating healthy) and into bad habits (staying up later, bigger dinners). I put this down to burnout.
6. Holiday (WFH 1 week abroad, 1 week holiday) – A welcome break and respite – the first relaxing holiday since Christmas. It was a glorious break which actually let me relax and find time to re-assess and pick up good habits again. Meditation – I realised I didn’t need to force myself to sit cross-legged to get the benefit. I could just sit on a chair.
7. Now – One week post holiday, and I feel like I’m back on a good routine. Getting up early, meditating, a bit of writing, exercise, packing a salad for lunch. This is a good base from which to work off.

Assessment of choices

I think I’ve had mixed results when it comes to making the right choices for myself.

• Basic maintenance – Until the festival I think I got a lot of things right, and choosing to be go to bed at an early time most nights e.g. not watching to the end of football matches etc, has been the best choice I have made most days, as it has set me up so well for the next day. I’m not saying it’s perfect, far from it, but I think the basic elements have been there. I understand myself more than before. Although I’ve unintentionally jabbed at it before, it’s a shame it has taken me 29 years to really start to ‘get’ that if I go to bed early, I wake up early, and then I have my most productive hours on the things I want to do before work. It’s a shame there’s not enough time to fit in everything I want to do. I have prioritised exercise and meditation at the expense of journalling, this blog and other activities. I would say this routine has been intentional and aligned to me being able to experience more joy than if I had not got a solid basic maintenance regime. The mornings are my favourite part of the day. Therefore huge thumbs up. Additional insight: The chaos period, although unintentional and not great from this perspective, allowed me to understand that meditation has been key to me having more equanimity and generally be a nicer person to be around (I think for my partner).
• Professional life – For the new job, it has been a bit of a mission: bearable, but not setting the world alight. I’ve waited to see how it will play out, which I think has been the right choice, but now I need to start seriously considering what the right choice will be for me going forward, as it has now been 9 months so I ‘get’ what the future looks like a bit more and how I will spend my time. This will no doubt be another post entirely. Thumbs at a 90 degree angle.
• Festival – I didn’t initially want to go to the festival, thinking it would be too much effort and would throw off my basic maintenance. However, I chose to go in the end (thinking it wasn’t what I wanted) and it was probably the highlight of the year. Therefore I can only say it was unintentional, but it aligned with being more joyous. Thumbs up.
• Pulled piriformis / chaos – I was probably not as intentional as I could have been during this period, going from having the exercise routine to not having it, I think it threw me off. I would say overall I probably made easy choices rather than intentional and aligned to joy choices. Therefore a thumbs down.

Okay. What lessons are there here? Early sleep good. Morning routine good. Understanding when I need to make big choices okay. Sometimes it’s fine to go have a blow out, good. Take a day to re-assess if you realise you’re off track. Book some annual leave?! Clear a weekend day?!

Nice. Now that’s out the way. Time to move forward!