Procrastination. Ah you beautiful thing. 

Just 45 minutes ago I became aware that I wasn’t doing the review of the previous blog post ‘Turning on the taps’. I was absent-mindedly thinking about how I was procrastinating and how I shouldn’t be procrastinating. Fortunately, I managed to become aware of this, and then thought ‘let’s document that’. So here we are.

Let me dig into what the word ‘procrastination’ means to me. If I just pause for 30 seconds, close my eyes, let my mind sit on the word ‘procrastinating’, what comes up? 

Slob. Inept. Image of me eating a pizza slice. Frustration. Annoyance. Weak. Image of my phone in front of me at a desk. Come on. Just do it. Put your phone down you fucking idiot because you need to do this shit. DO IT NOW.

I can feel tension around my collarbones, my chest, my biceps as well.

Eyes open. Okay. There’s a high likelihood, based on that, that under the hood of my awareness I experience a lot of negative thoughts and stressful tension every time I think I should be doing (or should already have done) a task but haven’t yet, even if I’m not technically labelling it ‘procrastination’.

Let’s see if this is true. So what am I currently procrastinating on?

• Wiping the mould off the wall behind my desk and in the bedroom. Excuse: ‘I can’t be bothered, I’ll do it later, I’m writing a blog post right now. Why can’t A do it?‘. 
• Taking the bins out. Excuse: ‘The bins are too full, it’s going to take effort and might split on me. I can’t be bothered. I’ve got other stuff going on right now‘. 
• Looking up some stuff as a potential business idea with a friend. Excuse: ‘I can’t be bothered. It’s chill time right now. This time is precious. I’ll do it later. I don’t want to start exploring a new business idea and putting work in when I know I’m going to be starting a new job shortly anyway.‘

So yeah. I procrastinate on a lot. And yeah, the thought of each of those stresses me out. Understood. It’s a lot of perceived effort to do these tasks. That seems to be a theme as to why I haven’t done them.  

I make my excuses, forget about it, remember again in a few hours or days I still need to do whatever it is, let my mind beat me up, free rein, and repeat until I do it. Great feedback loop there. 

And that is the crux of my procrastination. Not a pleasant cycle.

How did I at least overcome procrastination for reviewing the last blog post? I really wanted to do the review, because I wanted to keep the blog momentum going.

1. Awareness of the procrastination thought-pattern – I am aware I’m procrastinating. Mind is suggesting different things to do instead of reviewing the last post. Relax. You deserve it. You’re tired. You’ve already achieved a lot today. Podcast. You’ll do it later when you’ve got more energy.
2. Awareness of right now – Breath. Shoulders. Foot on floor. Crossed leg on thigh. Air foot sole. Bum. Back curved. Shoulders. Breath. Do I have energy? Am I tired? Lethargic yeah. Temperature – comfortable/warm.
3. Awareness of priority – Can only do one thing right now at this moment in time. Does the task really need to be the one thing I’m doing right now, does it really need to be done at all, can I commit to doing it in the future? 
4. Take the smallest step to just change current experience, not necessarily to do a task. Do any physical movement.
5. Change environment (if can get over stage 4) – Take off hoodie, stand up, go into the garden for 5 mins, bounce from side to side or sweep. Make a tea. Come back and see how you feel.
6. Either do the next smallest thing that would go towards the task, accept the task doesn’t need doing, or schedule when you will do the task in a calendar. 

I did the task after this. This framework might absolutely be some bullshit, but I’ll try to give it a go next time I become aware I’m procrastinating. 

Presumably, I’m not the only human to go through this. Good luck to anyone else who recognises themselves in this piece.